What is a spiritual father or mother?
Paul wrote to a church full of gifted teachers and told them something was missing. They had countless guides and very few fathers.
For though you have countless guides in Christ, you do not have many fathers. For I became your father in Christ Jesus through the gospel.1 Corinthians 4:15
Guiding and raising are not the same
A guide passes on what he knows. A father or mother stays with you for years. They know your history, they see what God has put in you before you do, and they tell you the truth when it is hard to hear. Most of us learned the important things in life that way, at someone’s kitchen table rather than in a lecture.
Even Paul had one
At the end of his letter to the Romans, Paul greets a long list of friends. In the middle of it is a woman whose name he doesn’t give.
Greet Rufus, chosen in the Lord; also his mother, who has been a mother to me as well.Romans 16:13
She was Rufus’s mother, and at some point she had become a mother to Paul too. The apostle who planted churches across the Roman world still needed someone like her.
At the cross, Jesus did something similar for the people closest to him. He gave his mother and his friend John to each other.
Woman, behold, your son!” Then he said to the disciple, “Behold, your mother!” And from that hour the disciple took her to his own home.John 19:26-27
The line they never cross
Jesus also warned against putting any person in God’s place.
And call no man your father on earth, for you have one Father, who is in heaven.Matthew 23:9
A spiritual father or mother never takes the Father’s place. They point you to him. They don’t make your decisions for you, keep you dependent, or build a following around themselves. Peter told the elders of his day how to lead.
Not domineering over those in your charge, but being examples to the flock.1 Peter 5:3
A good spiritual parent is glad when you grow up and go further than they did.
Scripture quotations are from the ESV® Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version®), © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.